Interlude of Pleasure and Restoration #5
I'm heading into week 12 of this self imposed Interlude and officially have about 8-10 weeks left, depending on what life brings.....and I gotta tell you, while I continue to be having a lot of fun and feel immense gratitude for this time and spaciousness, these last few weeks have been the hardest yet on my mental health…affirmations and insights welcome….
On the positive side:
- It feels amazing to be on top of my inbox
- It is so nice to have the time and mental space to actually read those eblasts I signed up for:)
- It is amazing how much time Life Admin takes when one really focuses on it.
- Doing things at a normal pace = getting much less done in a day
- I can tell I'm restoring because I can now find words in my brain....for the past couple of years, I was having a hard time finding words and now, they are coming to me more easily- which feels great.
- My body feels less stress because I am less stressed.
- I’ve had time to build a website. Check it out.
- This post is my soft launch on consulting. I’d love to pick up a few more clients as I continue to search for my right next Yes!, so check out my new website and spread the word.
In other news:
I’m reading my old journals and realized I’ve been doing theatre since I was 14, since a woman (surprise, surprise) started a community theatre in a backyard. I also found an article I wrote about my first professional job when I was 24. I couldn’t believe I was getting a paycheck for acting (and running around a 3 mile park every day as our warm up)- I think it was $300/week.
After 38 years with theatre as a pretty constant companion, it feels strange now to be interviewing for jobs that are not in the theatre. Yes, I’m also interviewing for jobs in the theatre, but, at the moment, the skills and expertise I bring are being affirmed in a very different positive way in the non theatre job opportunities. Typically, for the theatre (and all of you in the theatre out there will understand this), she isn’t reaching out to me with open arms. I have to hustle to get her to pay attention. While the other opportunities are coming with a different kind of ease and flow…
So I'm experiencing what feels like grief because I'm wondering if my career in the theatre may be coming to an end, or at least, getting a pause....
I have so much more I could offer the world of theatre. I could achieve a ton more impact with more opportunity and resources. I also know those extraordinary folks coming up behind my generation, or who have been growing alongside me and still have the hustle, are raring to go. I see them, I admire them, I wish I could be them in many way, but, in this moment in my life, as I contemplate the next chapter and the ones beyond that and how I want to live them if I'm lucky enough to do so, I'm just not sure I have it in me to convince theatre, yet again, that what I have to offer may be of interest to her…
I always thought I’d be bringing my activism to my artistry in this next chapter but it’s beginning to look like I might be bringing my artistry to my activism.
And, while that's a whole new kind of possible adventure that's exciting in many ways, it's also hard. It feels like, by making some important choices about how I want to live the rest of my life, I have to also consciously choose to let go of a lifelong dream.
It’s a weird time.
With all that said, I've gained a crap ton of skills over the last 38 years in the theatre, so take a look at my website and hire me as a consultant, would ya?
Onwards....
